Life with Ryan

As a mother with a child with juvinal type 1 diabetes. It has been a long rode sence we found out that he has diabetes. I somtimes one how I am going to do this....am i doing the right thing... what am i forgeting.... did i give him his insulan for what he eat of no.... So many things run though my mind all day long. I wonder what i could be doing better, and am I doing everthing that I need to be doing for him. I sometimes wonder what I did wrong as a parrent and my child would come down with this sickness that he is going to be stuck with for the rest of his life. Even though it was nothing I could have done, but is still does not help that it goes though my mind ever time I have to stick him and change his sight. I try and for get that it is not my falt that he has this ever time I see his face as he binds over the tolet while coughing and spitting out those terable ketons out of his body... I try and for get about thinking that maby I should check him one more time be fore I go to bed, and should I wake up in the middle of the night to check him too......I try and for get that is nothing i did when he just lays there on the coutch complaining that his tummy hurts of he has a head ack and trying to ride out the discomfort and knowing that not even a new toy will get him up and moving.... I try to for get when he just sits there and crys telling me how bad it hurts and all i can do is give him his medicin and tell him to just wait it will get better... I try and forget even a trip to the store i worry about wether i for got something for him or not, do I have evething incase of anthing happening.... I try to for get that trying to reasure everone else he is fine and he is just a normal little boy is heard when i have to keep telling my self the samething..... I try and for get that even thow they tell you to acked normal it is so hard to casue there are so many abnormal things that you have to do.... I try and for get the feeling i feel when i have to explan to him that you can not have 4 slices of pizza and a hole pack of hot dogs, and the reson why he can not have a huge a mount of ice cream and cake... I try to forget but i just can't. It is so had sometimes. I have so many dreems and wishes for my little man that I hope he can see and know that no matter what I will always love him. And that even though that all those doors mabe closed there will always be a window in. What can I say a wonderful band puts in to words what I wish for him. " My wish for you ryan is that life becomes all that you want it to and your dreams stay big and your worries stay small and you never need to carry more than you can hold on to." I could not say it any better my self..........